Relationships are the wondrous seeds from which our beingness sprouts into full bloom. In our perceived world of duality where the concept of "being right" in one part of the world is equally "being wrong" in another part of the world, it is easy to see why and how conflict occurs. However, as we move deeper into our inner wisdom where God resides, we become aware that "right" and "wrong" are relative terms which simply reflect the outcome of our personal experiences. There is no, one, single universal Truth other than "I AM", because Truth is forever 'changing'! Fifty years ago, the Truth was that the fastest time to run the mile was over four minutes; today the Truth has shifted because the fastest time to run the mile currently is well under four minutes!

My Truth is mine while your Truth is yours and both are equally 'True' given the differing experiences we each have and from which our Truth emerges. Unlike the proverbial policeman who has to remain anchored in his investigation, even though he is forever puzzled and frustrated by the thirty different versions of an accident related to him by the thirty different people who were all witness to the same accident at the same time and at the same place, we become angry and resentful and judgemental when life brings across our paths a Truth that does not belong within the armoury of our own experiences. Now, realizing that the essence of Truth exists in all that there is, ever was, and ever will be, we have become aware that through relationships we are to empower ourselves and one another, and not to disempower anyone.

However, I constantly need reminding that I should 'Empower' instead of 'Rescue'. There is nothing wrong with doing things for another as long as you don't deny that person their power. Rescuing is an unconscious pattern that interferes with another's ability to learn and grow. Here are some examples:

* A husband answers for the wife when asked how she is feeling; she builds resentment for him doing so.

* A man imagines that he is being helpful by assisting his wife with her night-school assignments; as a result, she falls behind in her coursework.

* A couple jumps in several times daily to help their twin sons iron out hassles; soon, they're doing it almost hourly.

Before you rush in to help someone, first ask yourself, "Is my help in any way disempowering the other person?"

Here is a beautiful illustration. Would you say this was empowerment in the making? See what the Zen master has to say. Do you agree or disagree, and why?

A young student went excitedly to his Zen master and said, "Master, I have done a truly wonderful deed today."

"And what deed is that, my son?" asks the Master politely.

"Well, as I was standing at the red light of that very busy crossing in the city, waiting for the lights to change before I crossed over, I saw this very old woman, standing right next to the lights, take a tentative step to cross the road, and then withdraw it immediately. She did this a few times so I went over to see if I could help. On reaching her I realized her problem immediately. I saw that she was blind. Obviously, therefore, she was very nervous and frightened to cross the road. I gently but firmly took her arm in mine and helped her to cross to the other side. At first, I felt her resisting my help, which was quite natural since I was a complete stranger, but then she seemed to relax as I guided her across. When we reached there she turned and gave me a really warm smile and thanked me for my kindness," said the student, breathless with anticipation of a reward from is Master.

"Well, Master, I finished my work for the day and came here to tell you of this incident," replied the student, somewhat rattled.

"So," responded the Zen master, "this is the 'wonderful deed' you performed today."

"Yes, Master, it is. Do you not think so?" he asked falteringly.

"That old woman," said the Master, "reached her 80th birthday today. She has been blind since birth and, ever since her 40th birthday, she has been trying to get the courage to cross that road by herself. Today, on her 80th birthday, she finally got that courage and was going to do just that. Unfortunately, you stopped her with your act of rescue and now, goodness knows when she will find that courage again." Here the Master paused for a moment before saying, "Do you believe that your good deed empowered her or not?"- WHAT DO YOU THINK?